Best friend

What is your defination of best friend? For me it's someone who always stands by my side. Someone who turns to me when feeling bad. 

Best friend is someone I can share everything with, someone I never have to pretend being something I'm not. For me best friend is all about trust. I can't even imagine my life without that someone to laugh and cry with. Someone who understands me and accepts me as I am, reads my mind before I open my mouth. 

I hope you all are as lucky as I feel I am, being blessed by having one. Just to everyone who ever wants to know: We are not friends because we believe in our selves, but because we believe in each other.

I was the one

Last year is history, gone forever. It's been one of the most difficult years in my life. I'm finished this fight now and I'm stronger than ever. 
You had me. I was the best thing you ever had. I was the one. You just didn't know it that time, so here I am year after, all grown up. No regrets, no hard feelings, I've found myself, learned to feel my own limits. I won't waste my time looking back, because it'll never be you and me again.

New Year

New year left scars and wounds which are still bleeding but good things happened as well. New year is the day people make resolutions: Stop smoking, lose weight and all those usual problems which they hope to have in control. It's funny how one day can be easier to make those promises even though it's all about will. You can lose weight or stop smoking even if it's middle of august, but it's some kind of magical reason that new year gives you an extra push, end a capital and start over. New year or not: You can make your future better by learning from your mistakes.

An optimist

A pessimist sees a difficulty in oppornity. An optimist sees an oppornity in difficulty. Which one are you? I have to admit that in my case the key is what it's all about. If it's something I'm burning for, then I know I'll do it no matter how difficult it might be. If it's something I could care a less then I don't even bother to look at it 'cause I feel I don't have a chance. It's funny because often those things I'm on are more difficult and unrealistic than the others, but I have such a big will to fight for them and I'll do anything to find my way. I hope I could have the same "let's do it" mood in everything, but unfortunally you can't have it all. Well at least I can see what the problem is and maybe become better to try even though it sometimes looks way too much. 

Alone

I remember how I used to be afraid that day when you're not with me any longer. I'm not afraid anymore. 


Now I know how it feels.


I can still feel you around. I can still see your  things around. You told me to get over it. I might can forgive, but I can never forget...

Mirror, mirror on the wall

When you look into a mirror it's not yourself you see. But some kind of apish error put in fearful symmetry. It's funny how we see ourselves in other peoples eyes. We use incredible lot of time thinking what the others think about us. If you have a pimple on your nose and you have a date, the only thing you see is that huge red spot in the middle of your face. You forget everything else when all your thoughts are running throw your head: What might he think about you now. After few months when you're closer and you can finally ask if he remembers the first date how you had that huge thing sitting in your face, he often say that he haven't noticed it at all. It's our mind making tricks on us, it's all in our heads, but the more you think the more paranoid you'll get. We just have to learn to carry ourselves the way we are without putting ourselves under the microscope pointing all the faults we can find. Mirror mirror on the wall...

Hounting of youth

One thing is a fact: We all get older. There's nobody in this world who can change it. We are trying to hount the source of the youth, hysterically watching beauty magazines which doesn't make anything but give us low self esteem. Models today are younger and younger, actually closer to teenage years. Those who are between 25-35 getting their first wrinkles are getting even more depressed looking at them and it's not enough that they're young. The pictures are completely re-touched removing all pores, marks and spots making the skin looking as smooth as porcelain. The worst part is, that even we are told that fact we are still dreaming of those false faces. Actresses are living under neverending preasure when the younger colleagues are taking their parts. They keep using hundreds of dollars to buy anti-wrinkle cosmetics, taking treatments, using botox or choosing face-lift. It  usually  becomes an obsession and in the end the whole face mimik is gone and then the roles are even more difficult to get. Well, nobody wants to look old but the fact is we all do get older. Why can't we just accept it because it doesn't make us any younger anyway. Well, I'll take to oxygen treatment myself. I'm one of those who just keeps hounting the youth source...